How to Answer the Two Questions Every History Major receives!

I will hopefully be graduating this May. I've gotten back the grades for all but one of my class and the class remaining is the most worrisome. The final paper and project constitute over 90% of my grade. I feel that I did well on both but I'm a firm believer in not counting my eggs before they hatch. I believe that I will receive my degree but I'm not counting on it yet.

I feel all over the news, the internet, and even people on the streets, that there is a general loathing of liberal arts degrees and for some reason history in general. Almost on a daily basis I have to justify my degree. The most common question is "why would you pick that?" and "what can you do with a history degree?" For the most part I answer seriously. I chose history because I love it, and if I'm going to spend over $40,000 on something it better be on something that I love. The second question I usually respond that I'll either go to graduate school, or work in a museum or the library. I then have to explain that I know it doesn't pay the greatest and I'm fine with that. A roof over my head and food on the table are all that I really NEED! Oh and a job that I will actually enjoy going to! I have reached the point, though, that I'm so tempted to answer these reoccurring questions sarcastically.

Ten Response for Why I Picked a History Degree!

1. I got drunk and by the time I sobered up it was too late to change it.
2. I lost a bet.
3. I played eenie-meenie-minni-moe.
4. I'm really good at playing Risk.
5. I can't do math.
6. Underwater basket weaving wasn't available at my school.
7. I wanted to take advantage of the welfare system.
8. I wanted to learn from other people's mistakes so I can take over the world.
9. I thought it was the easiest way to get an MRS. degree.
10. I wanted to know if Rome was built in a day.

Ten Things I'm Going to do with My History Degree!

1. I'm going to work at McDonalds.
2. I'm going to collect welfare.
3. I'm going to teach your devil spawns.
4. I'm going to protest all the things!
5. I'm going to become a writer of historical romantic literature featuring an asexual robot and a iguana.
6. I'm going to work at the DMV.
7. I'm going to be a stripper in a dive club in Central Minnesota.
8. Pop out at least 12 kids in the next 12 years, duh!
9. Take over the world!
10. A secret government job, and I really can't talk about it!

General word of advice for people not wasting their lives with a liberal arts education, I'm tired of these two questions. Money ain't everything, I do have a plan, and mind your own damn business.