Girls and Sexism and Cars

Since I was a little girl I've enjoyed cars. I love to drive fast, I love to work on cars, and I love to admire beautiful cars. For the past two years I've even had jobs in the automotive field.And I generally enjoy my job. There are definitely negatives like sexist old men that don't value my opinion. But I can brush that off telling myself that it's their loss if they don't want to listen to my opinion.

But the sexism that eats away at me and makes me wonder what the hell I'm doing is when women undervalue my opinion or brush me off because I am a woman. I get that sexism isn't just restricted to old men, but it still hurts. The woman that a few years ago refused to let me work on her car because I am a women stayed with me for a long time. However, I've always been lucky to work with guys that appreciate me and the knowledge that I bring to work. My manager refused to service her car. Women are just as capable of enforcing gender stereotypes.

What brings me to write this post is a recent incident between a friend and myself. She has been having issues with one of her cars and me being my nosey self started asking her questions in attempt at a diagnosis. She said that she didn't know because she's a girl and that she isn't a "cool" girl like me. I was floored. I don't consider myself a "cool" girl. I know I get a long with men because we share the same interests. I know I get along with men because I grew up with a younger brother and all boy cousins. I know how to interact with men but I have never, ever, thought that it placed me on some "cool" girl pedestal. I can understand that other women could look at me and be jealous about my easy going nature with men, and that being "one of the guys" is an advantage to something.

I've never felt that way. Instead I get stuck with messy, noisy, inconsiderate boys. I have very few female friends that want to spend a night in and drink wine. I learned how to do my makeup through online videos because I didn't have a sister or a girlfriend to show me how. I don't know how to do my hair. I don't have a girl that I can confide to. Instead I'm one of the "cool" girls.

It's so easy to look at other women and see attributes and personality traits that seem to give them a heads up in the world and either define it as uncool or cool. I think that's very unfair. I don't consider myself cool, I just do what I love. And other girls probably don't consider themselves cool and just do what they love. I think it's so easy to get caught up in being cool, girly, or manly, or smart, or funny without looking inside and understanding that no matter where someone falls on the "cool" scale they probably struggle with similar issues.

New Year, New Me

So, I hate new years resolutions. Actually, I despise them. I think they are an easy way for people to voice their dissatisfaction with their lifestyles and choices without actually committing to change themselves. It’s okay to forget about the resolutions mid-January, or even February if really motivated. New Years resolutions are little lies that people tell themselves in hope of change coming without actually putting in the effort. I usually don’t make resolutions for that very reason. I try to change and grow as a person but I don’t think that the magical date of January 1st is going to help me accomplish my goals. The changes that I want to make shouldn’t be pushed off until the new year or forgotten because it’s February. I want lasting change and I think that the culture surrounding New Years resolutions don’t create an environment that allows change to happen.

Now, that I’ve gotten that off my chest, I am going to give my justification for actually creating New Years resolutions despite my distaste for them.

I want to change, I need to grow up. My 26th birthday is looming on the horizon and I will no longer have the excuse of being in my early 20’s for any bad life choices I make. Around the same time as my birthday is my graduation from college. I’m going to have to get a real job. And I’m terrified. I don’t feel prepared for these milestones. Honestly, I feel like I’m just getting by in life without having to work hard or be responsible. And I need to grow up. I need to take on greater responsibilities besides ensuring that my bills are paid on time, and that I’m wearing clean clothes.

So my resolutions for 2014.

-Have a grown up home.

To me this doesn’t feel like an age thing but rather an attitude adjustment. I want to ensure that my house is clean, clutter free, and loved. Dirty dishes taken care of  right away, no more dirty laundry all over the place, and no more piles of trash. I want to love my house and love myself by creating a better environment

-Get my shit together.

Make doc appointments, dentist appointments. No more putting off important stuff because it’s unpleasant to do. Part of this means I have to either utilize my iPhone as a calendar/to do list or I should invest in a pretty paper calendar. I’m going to attempt to use the iPhone for now.

-Productive me time.

I get a nice amount of “me” time. But I piss it away. I sit and watch t.v. and nothing else. And it is a waste. I’m going to prioritize my creative side when I have the time to do so. I’m going to finish that crochet project, or I’m going to paint, or I’m going to write. I’m going to do something that makes me a participant rather than an observer.

I feel pretty confident about my goals (otherwise why would I make them?), but I specifically picked items that can be restarted if I forget, and that have no specific ending like losing ten lbs. I don’t want temporary change, I want lifestyle change that will last.