im sure part of it has to do with school. I've been working on obtaining my undergraduate for almost 6 years! now part of that is my fault, I chose to prioritize a full time job over my education but it still feels like I've been in school forever. this is my last year as an undergraduate and I'm afraid. my degree could be described as useless but I love it. I just don't know if it will help me provide for my family in the future! my education has partially stolen my hobby. I used to live reading about history, watching specials about history, essentially anything to do with the past is how I filled my time. but now being so close to the end of my education I'm tired of it and don't know how to get that initial excitement back.
I also feel stuck at my job. there really isn't much room for advancement. and i really can't advance any further without taking away from my education again. I get paid a decent wage and I have awesome hours that let me be home with my son most of the time. but I still feel like I want something more.
I've been trying to fill my life with beauty, reading about design, travel, and art but it makes me wonder why am I not doing that! why am I not creating. why do I feel stuck being me. it's frustrating and a little worrisome. I want to be more! I want to be a better mother, a better student, and a better partner. I want all of that while still feeling like I'm still me. it wasn't too long ago I had become so preoccupied with meeting someone else's expectations of who I should be that I've lost myself and I don't know how to get that back.
any suggestions?
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